I can always see that place in my dreams.
I can always see that person.
I can always hear her voice.
Dreaming of being in a slaughter house
watching people being tortured
to death can be fun, but
when I realised exactly where I was,
I was the one being slaughtered by memories;
in my deepest being
it all leads to her. It all leads to him.
It all leads to a deep ever bleeding
wound that never heals,
the wound what is slowly killing me
and has always been.
I will never forgive, I will never forget.
I will never be touched.
I cannot be touched.
I cannot be forced. Not again.
Please,
not ever again.
Because in my deepest self,
in my daily dreams, she follows me
everywhere; she touches me everywhere;
I can no longer sleep.
Like a ghost, she visits me
every night, reminding me of what she's done.
And she does it again. And again.
When I wake up crying, all I can think of
is "please, don't rape me again".
