Null

I could have written a 

whole bible about how 

much I adore you, only 

if you hadn't told me to

swallow my words that are

currently dissolving in my 

previously empty stomach. 

And now the bible is a 

holy-hole, and utterly, 

utterly void.

I saw hell again that night
the hell of the self, the hell
I carry within and there's
no memory of being
with you that could've save me,
because my memories
follow the same crimson-coloured
river and purpose I do:
it drowns and disrupts me only.