i'm beginning to realise that maybe, just maybe my pain isn't about you not belonging to me: i knew right from the start you would never be anyone else's but yours alone. i've seen it. i don't think i could ever ask you to be mine when i can never give myself fully (because i'm just like you). i've felt it.
i remember that day, that exact afternoon, laying right beside you when rain announced only whispers were allowed & i watched you close your eyes, body relaxed as if you were just about to fall asleep & then tell me: i'm not asleep, is just that it feels so good to be here with you.
it's the comfort of just being. not yours, not mine. but to simply be & become connected with someone else in all its plenitude. that's what my pain is about. it's about being so far away from you.